it’s okay

slow is a go

It’s okay to go slow.  It’s not a failure if you’re not going fast.  Don’t use slow as an excuse to get frustrated, or quit.  I’ve been chanting this to myself when I’m running (jogging…hobbling…) and when I’m tracking my weight watchers points and when I’m looking at our shabby front yard and a pile of outgrown baby clothes that need go in the correct containers in the basement.  I get stuck, my thoughts are literally like mud, and I think “You’re awful.  You can’t stay on top of chores, how could you possibly think you could run a road race, you’re home all day and you barely play with your kids, you’re never going to lose weight, if you don’t speed up, you’re not going to get out of this and your effort isn’t going to be worth anything.”  It’s really yucky.  And it’s a knee-jerk.

But it’s okay to go slow.  It’s okay to go up and down and take a month to lose 5 pounds.  It’s okay to get out of breath quickly, to wait for the walking intervals, and every day doesn’t need to be your best pace.  It’s okay to throw away the decorative evergreen boughs in May, to let the newborn onesies sit in a basket in the hallway to the 5 month mark.  Everything will get done.  Trust me, it will.

I’m always on the hunt for more efficiency and productivity tips.  I really do want to run fast, and lose weight, keep a clean house, and complete more projects.  My head is absolutely bursting with the things I want to do.  I want to write and paint and cook and document and print pictures and create content for the world to see.  My ambition is so great that I get in my own way.  I slow myself down, get angry at myself, beat myself up, and stop.  I usually stop.  But lately, I’ve been giving myself permission to go slow.  I’ve been telling myself that it’s okay to go slow.

I wanted to run every other day and go Wii Fit and Yoga on the opposite days.  That was my plan, and it never happened from day 1.  A lot of times I didn’t get a run in while someone was watching the boys.  Other times, I would goof off during naptime or one of the boys would get sick or I would just miss my chance to get a workout in.  But I have been consistently doing SOMETHING a few days a week for over a month.  I’ve been going to weight watchers since March, and my weight goes gently up and down.  But it’s lower than it was when I started.  And it will keep going down.  I look at certain projects (pictures to be hung, clothes to be stored, papers to organize) and tell myself, “You won’t move away before you get to this stuff.  It’ll happen.”

I hope you can be forgiving to yourself.  Let yourself go slow.  When you reach your goals, you won’t care if it happened in 3 months or 3 years.  It’s okay to go slow.

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2 thoughts on “it’s okay

  1. Amen! I was talking about this very thing with a friend the other day(okay, let’s be real…I was talking to the therapist I see so I don’t loose my mind when New Baby arrives). I, for some reason, have always told myself that “there isn’t enough time! I’ll never get all of this done!” So, lately I’ve been telling myself “There is PLENTY of time. All you have is time.” And, it seems to be helping. You’re doing great Momma!

    • Girl, I love your real talk. Yeah, I don’t know why I feel this crazy pressure to DO IT NOW but it’s so true- there is a ton of time! And any two-baby questions or RANTS that you need to get out- I AM HERE. I’ve been doing nothing but ranting for 4 months, and it helps :) Hope you’re feeling as well as possible!

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