Lately…

typical morningLately…

…our mornings look like this.  I was making coffee in the kitchen, and I turned and saw this scene and kind of choked in surprise.  Sometimes I feel like we’re on a weird kind of adventure vacation, something to survive and giggle at and photo-document, with a fixed ending.  But this is our life as a family of four.  Messy and very sweet and permanent.  I want you to take particular note of the Christmas wreath balanced on the bookcase and the laundry.  Real life.

…I’m really sorting out what I want my priorities to be.  Things to get rid of: excessive snacking, letting one episode of 30 Rock during a nursing session turn into an entire day of watching JUST ONE MORE, and guilt/anxiety over things out of my control.  Things I want more of: time for reading, a routine for staying on top of silly chores, and a daily shower.

…we are watching The Lorax once a weekend day, and listening to a Pandora station based on the music whenever we’re in the car.  I absolutely love the way the songs are arranged, and after realizing that Ed Helms played the Once-ler and then seeing him pop up in some funny sketches on  The Kroll Show, I’ve developed a raging crush on him.  I have also been speeding through all the powerful-woman comedy sitcoms (completely caught up on Parks and Rec, going through 30 Rock chronologically, and (off the woman theme)  rewatching Arrested Development) and I love the incest of the guest spots- if you have been on Saturday Night Live or The Office since 2000, you have been on one or more of the above listed shows.

…our household dynamic is still shaking down.  On weekdays, the middle of the day is calm and I struggle with time management.  Milo is at daycare and Ben is home until almost lunch time, so we do chores and errands and take turns holding the baby.  Around 3 on weekday afternoons, I start planning how we’ll get through to dinner time- prepping snacks, laying out special toys, and gathering nursing stuff so it’s all in one place.  When the stars align, I can get Elliott to sleep and spend a few hours with Milo for playing/dinner/bath/books, then have big brother down to bed by the time Littlest needs to nurse again.  This has only gone that smoothly twice in 3 weeks, but I have hope.  I’m still surviving Saturdays, but I know that routine will come.

…I’m so thankful for my family and my friends.  I have been getting encouraging texts and FaceTimes from my mom and sister on a daily basis, had diapers/meals/love delivered by friends, and had physical reinforcements to take both littles somewhere fun from my fabulous in-laws.  I’m learning to ask for help when I need it (even when my meanie inner voice tells me that I shouldn’t need to ask for help) and doing simple things for myself like taking my contacts out BEFORE I’ve slept with them glued to my eyes for 3-4 hours.  Ben is completely amazing.  He changes endless diapers, brings me glasses of water/burp cloths/snacks, gets Milo fed and to school every morning, and stops in the middle of the day to wonder aloud, “How did we get so lucky to have two beautiful sons?”  And he means it.  And I tear up because yeah.  That’s incredible.

So lately, we’re just figuring everything out.  I have a lot I want to do/know/change: haircuts, household purges, double-stroller purchases, kid-friendly outings.  I’m nervously anticipating February break, which will include a week of Saturdays and a baby that is still too small to wear on my chest, making all our plans a little more complicated.  I’m behind on thank you notes and birth announcements.  But we are doing IT- going through the motions of feeding and sleeping and taking too many pictures of two little boys who will call us Mama and Daddy.  It’s crazy, but it’s our crazy, and it’s only going to get crazier from here.

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