>i think i’m in love with four walls and a roof

>This morning I was sitting on the couch, reading O Magazine (which I used to mock and now has replaced Real Simple as my grown-lady-periodical), sipping coffee from my favorite little mug, and a voice popped into my head and said “This is the life.” I literally looked over my shoulder- it was so clear and so separate from my muddy recent thoughts. These are the salad days. This is the moment. Insert any cliche about a life well-lived. It just occurred to me, as if it were a completely original thought.

I realized that I’ve been waiting. Waiting to start treating myself with health and care, waiting to begin making my house into a home, waiting to cook dinners that are eaten at a table. Ben and I have been saying for YEARS that we’ll do it right “when we have a place of our own.” When we first got here I tried to hang pictures but nothing sat quite right.

Last night I learned how to slide up our storm windows and I let fresh air into the whole house. Penguin literally leapt from the nest on our bed and ran around the house, smelling. He was invigorated. I walked around the neighborhood and followed my little street as far as it went. There is much more of it than I ever knew existed. I realized that my house was a part of this town before I came here, and when I leave this house will remain. I am only a little part of it’s history, but I want to make it strong and beautiful and give it the respect that it deserves while I am here. It might seem silly, but I fell in love with my house in that instant. We moved in at the end of November and almost instantly the snows came. Blinds have been pulled since that time. I walked around the house, picked up branches and trash, opened the back blinds, and promised my house that I would make it homey, like it deserves.

I came back in, pulled all the pictures off the wall, and rehung most things. It’s all sitting pretty now.

There is endless work to do. Beyond the daily maintenance, I need to deep clean things like windows and woodwork. There is painting and window treating to be done, and our living room needs better flow. But I fell in love with my house yesterday, and now I know the work will be a (sometimes strained) delight, instead of a daunting chore.

I know that it took some stewing time before I could be ready to happily accept the work that comes with making this home lovely. I’ve also been stewing about my personal health, about my graduate work, and about staying on top of career things. When the time comes, each thing will click. I’m going to trust on that for now.

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