>i’ve been riding one for days, now (years?)

your love is like a rollercoaster, baby, baby
Originally uploaded by kloinko

It’s been exhausting, but it must be doubly hard for my trusty guy-at-my-side. Much love to the endlessly patient and creative Ben, champion of countdowns, pep talks, and homemade ice cream sandwiches at midnight.

I’m trying to approach things from a very logical standpoint, where I need to treat my body well, pare my schedule down, and spend time doing things that I love and give me joy. The trouble is, once you get in a rut, you don’t have the energy to make those simple changes.

I was having an “up” day today, and took total advantage. I went to the bank, filled my car with gas, went to Michael’s, made returns at CVS, hit the library, cleaned the apartment, and worked out. It definitely gave me that pleasurable rush that I always get from accomplishment, but sadly, I partially did so much because I knew that if the blues hit again, I wouldn’t have the strength to do any of those things for awhile.

I am going to stop trying to pinpoint the source of this mild discontent. It’s not just the season, and it’s not just work, and it’s not just my health. It’s something solvable, with a name, and I feel better thinking of it in that way.

I’m taking my old Weight Watchers books, Real Simple magazine, and some strawberries to bed with me. Busy day of errands and get togethers tomorrow, and I can’t wait.


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